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‘The Texas Chainsaw Massacre’ Gas Station Gets Turned Into Bed-and-Barbecue

‘The Texas Chainsaw Massacre’ Gas Station Gets Turned Into Bed-and-Barbecue


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The Last Chance Gas Station has been turned into a real-life barbecue joint with overnight cabins

The Gas Station, with its roof sign that reads “We Slaughter Barbecue.”

Fans of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre can experience a taste of the 1974 horror movie by visiting The Gas Station, the site of the Last Chance Gas Station from the movie, which has been transformed into a “bed-and-barbecue tourist attraction,” according to Yahoo.

A roof sign reads “We Slaughter Barbecue,” though there are also some overnight cabins for guests to stay in, which are stocked with televisions and famous horror movies.

Hundreds of fans showed up to The Gas Station’s grand opening Oct. 8. Actors from the movie Edwin Neal and Ed Guinn made an appearance, and Texas Chainsaw 3D was shown on a big screen. Neal, Guinn, and Caroline Williams from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 will also make an appearance Oct. 30 and 31.

More information can be found on The Gas Station’s official website and Twitter account.


5 Southern horror movies that should exist

I have decided horror movie directors are missing an entire regional audience by not catering to Southerners. Moviemakers don't really focus on topics that would terrify us (with the exception of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" because what Southerner wouldn't be wary of chainsaws being swung about willy-nilly?)

Not only are Southerners too savvy and prepared to fall for old horror movie tropes, we need some new monsters beyond vampires and zombies and inbred rednecks. Just sayin'.

Sweetums and I are sure there is a market for other Southern-themed movies, such as one featuring a kudzu monster. I mean, haven't we all had the nightmare in which we are grabbed around the ankle by vine-y tentacles that pull us into the leafy abyss, never to be seen again – oh, that was just me?

www.youtube.com

Any-hoo, we'd call it "Night of the Living Kudzu," "The Cabin in the Kudzu" or "KUD-zoo." I shudder just thinking about it. (Don't steal our idea, y'all. We just need backers. And equipment. And, you know, basic knowledge of the film industry).

Some other ideas filmmakers should consider to terrify the Southern audience:

Nightmare on Ice Street

A happy, young couple with really straight, white teeth gets into their Prius for a trip to Grandmother's house for Thanksgiving. No sooner have they pushed the little clicker to open the garage door than they see it – ice! On the road! It's thin but it's growing, waiting menacingly for the couple to pull out onto the street. A horrifying tale of suspense and utter terror!

Night of the Undercooked Veggies

A couple with a young child named Damien has begun to wonder about their son's aversion to crosses and holy water. But their suspicions turn to terror when they feed him undercooked veggies – we're talking practically raw, people – and he eats them!! Can the parents discover what is possessing their Southern child before he learns to hate grits and cornbread? An unparalleled possession thriller.

Paranormal Milk and Bread

What would be worse than a Southerner forgetting to buy milk and bread before a snowstorm? Finding out the items you purchased are possessed by demons and expired sell-by dates. Can this suburban family survive the snow day?

The Skeeters in the Woods

High school students on a camping trip are telling ghost stories around the fire when, suddenly, one is oozing blood from a tiny spot on her arm. Soon, all the teens are attacked and begin slapping at their necks and arms. What could it be? A tense survival thriller.

Curse of the Bad Southern Accents

Five college students – three scantily-clad women, a husky athlete and a doofus – take a graduation trip to a relative's ramshackle cabin in the woods, because apparently Panama City Beach was booked up. When they arrive, they decide to investigate the trap door in the floor where they discover steps to a dank, dark basement filled with old videos. They blow off the dust and begin to play them, quickly discovering they are all films in which actors have horrifying Southern accents. But now the door is locked and the TV won't stop playing … will they get out in time? Or will they all go mad?


5 Southern horror movies that should exist

I have decided horror movie directors are missing an entire regional audience by not catering to Southerners. Moviemakers don't really focus on topics that would terrify us (with the exception of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" because what Southerner wouldn't be wary of chainsaws being swung about willy-nilly?)

Not only are Southerners too savvy and prepared to fall for old horror movie tropes, we need some new monsters beyond vampires and zombies and inbred rednecks. Just sayin'.

Sweetums and I are sure there is a market for other Southern-themed movies, such as one featuring a kudzu monster. I mean, haven't we all had the nightmare in which we are grabbed around the ankle by vine-y tentacles that pull us into the leafy abyss, never to be seen again – oh, that was just me?

www.youtube.com

Any-hoo, we'd call it "Night of the Living Kudzu," "The Cabin in the Kudzu" or "KUD-zoo." I shudder just thinking about it. (Don't steal our idea, y'all. We just need backers. And equipment. And, you know, basic knowledge of the film industry).

Some other ideas filmmakers should consider to terrify the Southern audience:

Nightmare on Ice Street

A happy, young couple with really straight, white teeth gets into their Prius for a trip to Grandmother's house for Thanksgiving. No sooner have they pushed the little clicker to open the garage door than they see it – ice! On the road! It's thin but it's growing, waiting menacingly for the couple to pull out onto the street. A horrifying tale of suspense and utter terror!

Night of the Undercooked Veggies

A couple with a young child named Damien has begun to wonder about their son's aversion to crosses and holy water. But their suspicions turn to terror when they feed him undercooked veggies – we're talking practically raw, people – and he eats them!! Can the parents discover what is possessing their Southern child before he learns to hate grits and cornbread? An unparalleled possession thriller.

Paranormal Milk and Bread

What would be worse than a Southerner forgetting to buy milk and bread before a snowstorm? Finding out the items you purchased are possessed by demons and expired sell-by dates. Can this suburban family survive the snow day?

The Skeeters in the Woods

High school students on a camping trip are telling ghost stories around the fire when, suddenly, one is oozing blood from a tiny spot on her arm. Soon, all the teens are attacked and begin slapping at their necks and arms. What could it be? A tense survival thriller.

Curse of the Bad Southern Accents

Five college students – three scantily-clad women, a husky athlete and a doofus – take a graduation trip to a relative's ramshackle cabin in the woods, because apparently Panama City Beach was booked up. When they arrive, they decide to investigate the trap door in the floor where they discover steps to a dank, dark basement filled with old videos. They blow off the dust and begin to play them, quickly discovering they are all films in which actors have horrifying Southern accents. But now the door is locked and the TV won't stop playing … will they get out in time? Or will they all go mad?


5 Southern horror movies that should exist

I have decided horror movie directors are missing an entire regional audience by not catering to Southerners. Moviemakers don't really focus on topics that would terrify us (with the exception of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" because what Southerner wouldn't be wary of chainsaws being swung about willy-nilly?)

Not only are Southerners too savvy and prepared to fall for old horror movie tropes, we need some new monsters beyond vampires and zombies and inbred rednecks. Just sayin'.

Sweetums and I are sure there is a market for other Southern-themed movies, such as one featuring a kudzu monster. I mean, haven't we all had the nightmare in which we are grabbed around the ankle by vine-y tentacles that pull us into the leafy abyss, never to be seen again – oh, that was just me?

www.youtube.com

Any-hoo, we'd call it "Night of the Living Kudzu," "The Cabin in the Kudzu" or "KUD-zoo." I shudder just thinking about it. (Don't steal our idea, y'all. We just need backers. And equipment. And, you know, basic knowledge of the film industry).

Some other ideas filmmakers should consider to terrify the Southern audience:

Nightmare on Ice Street

A happy, young couple with really straight, white teeth gets into their Prius for a trip to Grandmother's house for Thanksgiving. No sooner have they pushed the little clicker to open the garage door than they see it – ice! On the road! It's thin but it's growing, waiting menacingly for the couple to pull out onto the street. A horrifying tale of suspense and utter terror!

Night of the Undercooked Veggies

A couple with a young child named Damien has begun to wonder about their son's aversion to crosses and holy water. But their suspicions turn to terror when they feed him undercooked veggies – we're talking practically raw, people – and he eats them!! Can the parents discover what is possessing their Southern child before he learns to hate grits and cornbread? An unparalleled possession thriller.

Paranormal Milk and Bread

What would be worse than a Southerner forgetting to buy milk and bread before a snowstorm? Finding out the items you purchased are possessed by demons and expired sell-by dates. Can this suburban family survive the snow day?

The Skeeters in the Woods

High school students on a camping trip are telling ghost stories around the fire when, suddenly, one is oozing blood from a tiny spot on her arm. Soon, all the teens are attacked and begin slapping at their necks and arms. What could it be? A tense survival thriller.

Curse of the Bad Southern Accents

Five college students – three scantily-clad women, a husky athlete and a doofus – take a graduation trip to a relative's ramshackle cabin in the woods, because apparently Panama City Beach was booked up. When they arrive, they decide to investigate the trap door in the floor where they discover steps to a dank, dark basement filled with old videos. They blow off the dust and begin to play them, quickly discovering they are all films in which actors have horrifying Southern accents. But now the door is locked and the TV won't stop playing … will they get out in time? Or will they all go mad?


5 Southern horror movies that should exist

I have decided horror movie directors are missing an entire regional audience by not catering to Southerners. Moviemakers don't really focus on topics that would terrify us (with the exception of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" because what Southerner wouldn't be wary of chainsaws being swung about willy-nilly?)

Not only are Southerners too savvy and prepared to fall for old horror movie tropes, we need some new monsters beyond vampires and zombies and inbred rednecks. Just sayin'.

Sweetums and I are sure there is a market for other Southern-themed movies, such as one featuring a kudzu monster. I mean, haven't we all had the nightmare in which we are grabbed around the ankle by vine-y tentacles that pull us into the leafy abyss, never to be seen again – oh, that was just me?

www.youtube.com

Any-hoo, we'd call it "Night of the Living Kudzu," "The Cabin in the Kudzu" or "KUD-zoo." I shudder just thinking about it. (Don't steal our idea, y'all. We just need backers. And equipment. And, you know, basic knowledge of the film industry).

Some other ideas filmmakers should consider to terrify the Southern audience:

Nightmare on Ice Street

A happy, young couple with really straight, white teeth gets into their Prius for a trip to Grandmother's house for Thanksgiving. No sooner have they pushed the little clicker to open the garage door than they see it – ice! On the road! It's thin but it's growing, waiting menacingly for the couple to pull out onto the street. A horrifying tale of suspense and utter terror!

Night of the Undercooked Veggies

A couple with a young child named Damien has begun to wonder about their son's aversion to crosses and holy water. But their suspicions turn to terror when they feed him undercooked veggies – we're talking practically raw, people – and he eats them!! Can the parents discover what is possessing their Southern child before he learns to hate grits and cornbread? An unparalleled possession thriller.

Paranormal Milk and Bread

What would be worse than a Southerner forgetting to buy milk and bread before a snowstorm? Finding out the items you purchased are possessed by demons and expired sell-by dates. Can this suburban family survive the snow day?

The Skeeters in the Woods

High school students on a camping trip are telling ghost stories around the fire when, suddenly, one is oozing blood from a tiny spot on her arm. Soon, all the teens are attacked and begin slapping at their necks and arms. What could it be? A tense survival thriller.

Curse of the Bad Southern Accents

Five college students – three scantily-clad women, a husky athlete and a doofus – take a graduation trip to a relative's ramshackle cabin in the woods, because apparently Panama City Beach was booked up. When they arrive, they decide to investigate the trap door in the floor where they discover steps to a dank, dark basement filled with old videos. They blow off the dust and begin to play them, quickly discovering they are all films in which actors have horrifying Southern accents. But now the door is locked and the TV won't stop playing … will they get out in time? Or will they all go mad?


5 Southern horror movies that should exist

I have decided horror movie directors are missing an entire regional audience by not catering to Southerners. Moviemakers don't really focus on topics that would terrify us (with the exception of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" because what Southerner wouldn't be wary of chainsaws being swung about willy-nilly?)

Not only are Southerners too savvy and prepared to fall for old horror movie tropes, we need some new monsters beyond vampires and zombies and inbred rednecks. Just sayin'.

Sweetums and I are sure there is a market for other Southern-themed movies, such as one featuring a kudzu monster. I mean, haven't we all had the nightmare in which we are grabbed around the ankle by vine-y tentacles that pull us into the leafy abyss, never to be seen again – oh, that was just me?

www.youtube.com

Any-hoo, we'd call it "Night of the Living Kudzu," "The Cabin in the Kudzu" or "KUD-zoo." I shudder just thinking about it. (Don't steal our idea, y'all. We just need backers. And equipment. And, you know, basic knowledge of the film industry).

Some other ideas filmmakers should consider to terrify the Southern audience:

Nightmare on Ice Street

A happy, young couple with really straight, white teeth gets into their Prius for a trip to Grandmother's house for Thanksgiving. No sooner have they pushed the little clicker to open the garage door than they see it – ice! On the road! It's thin but it's growing, waiting menacingly for the couple to pull out onto the street. A horrifying tale of suspense and utter terror!

Night of the Undercooked Veggies

A couple with a young child named Damien has begun to wonder about their son's aversion to crosses and holy water. But their suspicions turn to terror when they feed him undercooked veggies – we're talking practically raw, people – and he eats them!! Can the parents discover what is possessing their Southern child before he learns to hate grits and cornbread? An unparalleled possession thriller.

Paranormal Milk and Bread

What would be worse than a Southerner forgetting to buy milk and bread before a snowstorm? Finding out the items you purchased are possessed by demons and expired sell-by dates. Can this suburban family survive the snow day?

The Skeeters in the Woods

High school students on a camping trip are telling ghost stories around the fire when, suddenly, one is oozing blood from a tiny spot on her arm. Soon, all the teens are attacked and begin slapping at their necks and arms. What could it be? A tense survival thriller.

Curse of the Bad Southern Accents

Five college students – three scantily-clad women, a husky athlete and a doofus – take a graduation trip to a relative's ramshackle cabin in the woods, because apparently Panama City Beach was booked up. When they arrive, they decide to investigate the trap door in the floor where they discover steps to a dank, dark basement filled with old videos. They blow off the dust and begin to play them, quickly discovering they are all films in which actors have horrifying Southern accents. But now the door is locked and the TV won't stop playing … will they get out in time? Or will they all go mad?


5 Southern horror movies that should exist

I have decided horror movie directors are missing an entire regional audience by not catering to Southerners. Moviemakers don't really focus on topics that would terrify us (with the exception of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" because what Southerner wouldn't be wary of chainsaws being swung about willy-nilly?)

Not only are Southerners too savvy and prepared to fall for old horror movie tropes, we need some new monsters beyond vampires and zombies and inbred rednecks. Just sayin'.

Sweetums and I are sure there is a market for other Southern-themed movies, such as one featuring a kudzu monster. I mean, haven't we all had the nightmare in which we are grabbed around the ankle by vine-y tentacles that pull us into the leafy abyss, never to be seen again – oh, that was just me?

www.youtube.com

Any-hoo, we'd call it "Night of the Living Kudzu," "The Cabin in the Kudzu" or "KUD-zoo." I shudder just thinking about it. (Don't steal our idea, y'all. We just need backers. And equipment. And, you know, basic knowledge of the film industry).

Some other ideas filmmakers should consider to terrify the Southern audience:

Nightmare on Ice Street

A happy, young couple with really straight, white teeth gets into their Prius for a trip to Grandmother's house for Thanksgiving. No sooner have they pushed the little clicker to open the garage door than they see it – ice! On the road! It's thin but it's growing, waiting menacingly for the couple to pull out onto the street. A horrifying tale of suspense and utter terror!

Night of the Undercooked Veggies

A couple with a young child named Damien has begun to wonder about their son's aversion to crosses and holy water. But their suspicions turn to terror when they feed him undercooked veggies – we're talking practically raw, people – and he eats them!! Can the parents discover what is possessing their Southern child before he learns to hate grits and cornbread? An unparalleled possession thriller.

Paranormal Milk and Bread

What would be worse than a Southerner forgetting to buy milk and bread before a snowstorm? Finding out the items you purchased are possessed by demons and expired sell-by dates. Can this suburban family survive the snow day?

The Skeeters in the Woods

High school students on a camping trip are telling ghost stories around the fire when, suddenly, one is oozing blood from a tiny spot on her arm. Soon, all the teens are attacked and begin slapping at their necks and arms. What could it be? A tense survival thriller.

Curse of the Bad Southern Accents

Five college students – three scantily-clad women, a husky athlete and a doofus – take a graduation trip to a relative's ramshackle cabin in the woods, because apparently Panama City Beach was booked up. When they arrive, they decide to investigate the trap door in the floor where they discover steps to a dank, dark basement filled with old videos. They blow off the dust and begin to play them, quickly discovering they are all films in which actors have horrifying Southern accents. But now the door is locked and the TV won't stop playing … will they get out in time? Or will they all go mad?


5 Southern horror movies that should exist

I have decided horror movie directors are missing an entire regional audience by not catering to Southerners. Moviemakers don't really focus on topics that would terrify us (with the exception of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" because what Southerner wouldn't be wary of chainsaws being swung about willy-nilly?)

Not only are Southerners too savvy and prepared to fall for old horror movie tropes, we need some new monsters beyond vampires and zombies and inbred rednecks. Just sayin'.

Sweetums and I are sure there is a market for other Southern-themed movies, such as one featuring a kudzu monster. I mean, haven't we all had the nightmare in which we are grabbed around the ankle by vine-y tentacles that pull us into the leafy abyss, never to be seen again – oh, that was just me?

www.youtube.com

Any-hoo, we'd call it "Night of the Living Kudzu," "The Cabin in the Kudzu" or "KUD-zoo." I shudder just thinking about it. (Don't steal our idea, y'all. We just need backers. And equipment. And, you know, basic knowledge of the film industry).

Some other ideas filmmakers should consider to terrify the Southern audience:

Nightmare on Ice Street

A happy, young couple with really straight, white teeth gets into their Prius for a trip to Grandmother's house for Thanksgiving. No sooner have they pushed the little clicker to open the garage door than they see it – ice! On the road! It's thin but it's growing, waiting menacingly for the couple to pull out onto the street. A horrifying tale of suspense and utter terror!

Night of the Undercooked Veggies

A couple with a young child named Damien has begun to wonder about their son's aversion to crosses and holy water. But their suspicions turn to terror when they feed him undercooked veggies – we're talking practically raw, people – and he eats them!! Can the parents discover what is possessing their Southern child before he learns to hate grits and cornbread? An unparalleled possession thriller.

Paranormal Milk and Bread

What would be worse than a Southerner forgetting to buy milk and bread before a snowstorm? Finding out the items you purchased are possessed by demons and expired sell-by dates. Can this suburban family survive the snow day?

The Skeeters in the Woods

High school students on a camping trip are telling ghost stories around the fire when, suddenly, one is oozing blood from a tiny spot on her arm. Soon, all the teens are attacked and begin slapping at their necks and arms. What could it be? A tense survival thriller.

Curse of the Bad Southern Accents

Five college students – three scantily-clad women, a husky athlete and a doofus – take a graduation trip to a relative's ramshackle cabin in the woods, because apparently Panama City Beach was booked up. When they arrive, they decide to investigate the trap door in the floor where they discover steps to a dank, dark basement filled with old videos. They blow off the dust and begin to play them, quickly discovering they are all films in which actors have horrifying Southern accents. But now the door is locked and the TV won't stop playing … will they get out in time? Or will they all go mad?


5 Southern horror movies that should exist

I have decided horror movie directors are missing an entire regional audience by not catering to Southerners. Moviemakers don't really focus on topics that would terrify us (with the exception of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" because what Southerner wouldn't be wary of chainsaws being swung about willy-nilly?)

Not only are Southerners too savvy and prepared to fall for old horror movie tropes, we need some new monsters beyond vampires and zombies and inbred rednecks. Just sayin'.

Sweetums and I are sure there is a market for other Southern-themed movies, such as one featuring a kudzu monster. I mean, haven't we all had the nightmare in which we are grabbed around the ankle by vine-y tentacles that pull us into the leafy abyss, never to be seen again – oh, that was just me?

www.youtube.com

Any-hoo, we'd call it "Night of the Living Kudzu," "The Cabin in the Kudzu" or "KUD-zoo." I shudder just thinking about it. (Don't steal our idea, y'all. We just need backers. And equipment. And, you know, basic knowledge of the film industry).

Some other ideas filmmakers should consider to terrify the Southern audience:

Nightmare on Ice Street

A happy, young couple with really straight, white teeth gets into their Prius for a trip to Grandmother's house for Thanksgiving. No sooner have they pushed the little clicker to open the garage door than they see it – ice! On the road! It's thin but it's growing, waiting menacingly for the couple to pull out onto the street. A horrifying tale of suspense and utter terror!

Night of the Undercooked Veggies

A couple with a young child named Damien has begun to wonder about their son's aversion to crosses and holy water. But their suspicions turn to terror when they feed him undercooked veggies – we're talking practically raw, people – and he eats them!! Can the parents discover what is possessing their Southern child before he learns to hate grits and cornbread? An unparalleled possession thriller.

Paranormal Milk and Bread

What would be worse than a Southerner forgetting to buy milk and bread before a snowstorm? Finding out the items you purchased are possessed by demons and expired sell-by dates. Can this suburban family survive the snow day?

The Skeeters in the Woods

High school students on a camping trip are telling ghost stories around the fire when, suddenly, one is oozing blood from a tiny spot on her arm. Soon, all the teens are attacked and begin slapping at their necks and arms. What could it be? A tense survival thriller.

Curse of the Bad Southern Accents

Five college students – three scantily-clad women, a husky athlete and a doofus – take a graduation trip to a relative's ramshackle cabin in the woods, because apparently Panama City Beach was booked up. When they arrive, they decide to investigate the trap door in the floor where they discover steps to a dank, dark basement filled with old videos. They blow off the dust and begin to play them, quickly discovering they are all films in which actors have horrifying Southern accents. But now the door is locked and the TV won't stop playing … will they get out in time? Or will they all go mad?


5 Southern horror movies that should exist

I have decided horror movie directors are missing an entire regional audience by not catering to Southerners. Moviemakers don't really focus on topics that would terrify us (with the exception of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" because what Southerner wouldn't be wary of chainsaws being swung about willy-nilly?)

Not only are Southerners too savvy and prepared to fall for old horror movie tropes, we need some new monsters beyond vampires and zombies and inbred rednecks. Just sayin'.

Sweetums and I are sure there is a market for other Southern-themed movies, such as one featuring a kudzu monster. I mean, haven't we all had the nightmare in which we are grabbed around the ankle by vine-y tentacles that pull us into the leafy abyss, never to be seen again – oh, that was just me?

www.youtube.com

Any-hoo, we'd call it "Night of the Living Kudzu," "The Cabin in the Kudzu" or "KUD-zoo." I shudder just thinking about it. (Don't steal our idea, y'all. We just need backers. And equipment. And, you know, basic knowledge of the film industry).

Some other ideas filmmakers should consider to terrify the Southern audience:

Nightmare on Ice Street

A happy, young couple with really straight, white teeth gets into their Prius for a trip to Grandmother's house for Thanksgiving. No sooner have they pushed the little clicker to open the garage door than they see it – ice! On the road! It's thin but it's growing, waiting menacingly for the couple to pull out onto the street. A horrifying tale of suspense and utter terror!

Night of the Undercooked Veggies

A couple with a young child named Damien has begun to wonder about their son's aversion to crosses and holy water. But their suspicions turn to terror when they feed him undercooked veggies – we're talking practically raw, people – and he eats them!! Can the parents discover what is possessing their Southern child before he learns to hate grits and cornbread? An unparalleled possession thriller.

Paranormal Milk and Bread

What would be worse than a Southerner forgetting to buy milk and bread before a snowstorm? Finding out the items you purchased are possessed by demons and expired sell-by dates. Can this suburban family survive the snow day?

The Skeeters in the Woods

High school students on a camping trip are telling ghost stories around the fire when, suddenly, one is oozing blood from a tiny spot on her arm. Soon, all the teens are attacked and begin slapping at their necks and arms. What could it be? A tense survival thriller.

Curse of the Bad Southern Accents

Five college students – three scantily-clad women, a husky athlete and a doofus – take a graduation trip to a relative's ramshackle cabin in the woods, because apparently Panama City Beach was booked up. When they arrive, they decide to investigate the trap door in the floor where they discover steps to a dank, dark basement filled with old videos. They blow off the dust and begin to play them, quickly discovering they are all films in which actors have horrifying Southern accents. But now the door is locked and the TV won't stop playing … will they get out in time? Or will they all go mad?


5 Southern horror movies that should exist

I have decided horror movie directors are missing an entire regional audience by not catering to Southerners. Moviemakers don't really focus on topics that would terrify us (with the exception of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" because what Southerner wouldn't be wary of chainsaws being swung about willy-nilly?)

Not only are Southerners too savvy and prepared to fall for old horror movie tropes, we need some new monsters beyond vampires and zombies and inbred rednecks. Just sayin'.

Sweetums and I are sure there is a market for other Southern-themed movies, such as one featuring a kudzu monster. I mean, haven't we all had the nightmare in which we are grabbed around the ankle by vine-y tentacles that pull us into the leafy abyss, never to be seen again – oh, that was just me?

www.youtube.com

Any-hoo, we'd call it "Night of the Living Kudzu," "The Cabin in the Kudzu" or "KUD-zoo." I shudder just thinking about it. (Don't steal our idea, y'all. We just need backers. And equipment. And, you know, basic knowledge of the film industry).

Some other ideas filmmakers should consider to terrify the Southern audience:

Nightmare on Ice Street

A happy, young couple with really straight, white teeth gets into their Prius for a trip to Grandmother's house for Thanksgiving. No sooner have they pushed the little clicker to open the garage door than they see it – ice! On the road! It's thin but it's growing, waiting menacingly for the couple to pull out onto the street. A horrifying tale of suspense and utter terror!

Night of the Undercooked Veggies

A couple with a young child named Damien has begun to wonder about their son's aversion to crosses and holy water. But their suspicions turn to terror when they feed him undercooked veggies – we're talking practically raw, people – and he eats them!! Can the parents discover what is possessing their Southern child before he learns to hate grits and cornbread? An unparalleled possession thriller.

Paranormal Milk and Bread

What would be worse than a Southerner forgetting to buy milk and bread before a snowstorm? Finding out the items you purchased are possessed by demons and expired sell-by dates. Can this suburban family survive the snow day?

The Skeeters in the Woods

High school students on a camping trip are telling ghost stories around the fire when, suddenly, one is oozing blood from a tiny spot on her arm. Soon, all the teens are attacked and begin slapping at their necks and arms. What could it be? A tense survival thriller.

Curse of the Bad Southern Accents

Five college students – three scantily-clad women, a husky athlete and a doofus – take a graduation trip to a relative's ramshackle cabin in the woods, because apparently Panama City Beach was booked up. When they arrive, they decide to investigate the trap door in the floor where they discover steps to a dank, dark basement filled with old videos. They blow off the dust and begin to play them, quickly discovering they are all films in which actors have horrifying Southern accents. But now the door is locked and the TV won't stop playing … will they get out in time? Or will they all go mad?


Watch the video: Foodie Friday: Texas Chainsaw Massacre gas station in Bastrop offering tasty BBQ. KVUE


Comments:

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